Spamalanche!

by | Websites | 0 comments

Fancy trainers. Penis enlargement. Russian brides.

Nope, I’m not talking about my average Saturday night out.

I’m talking about SPAM. Slimey, salesy, fakey comments that you’ll find lurking in the “waiting to be approved” section of your website, even if you do have the latest filter installed.

(I say lurking, I mean springing up and multiplying every time you turn your head for 5 minutes.)

Like virtual junkmail – complete with questionable grammar and an over-reliance! on! the! exclamation! mark! – this shit comes to all of us.

Ugh, you think, a spam comment. Better delete it.

But you went onto your site to upload a blog or change the wording on a sales page. You took a deep breath, put on your best geek glasses, and dived into the techie bit – and you don’t wanna spend more time there than needed.

No worries, I’ll delete spam when I’ve got some more time.

I’ll set aside an hour and do it all in one go.

No one else sees them – I’ll get round to it when I feel like it.

I’ve seen sites with HUNDREDS of spammy comments waiting for approval. They haven’t been approved, they haven’t been deleted. They’re hanging out in comment purgatory, and to be honest? That spare hour to go through and delete them all? Let’s get real, my love, it ain’t never gonna happen.

It’s so normal for that job to feel like a total dullsville chore, but I think it’s important. Here’s why.

THE LITTLE THINGS ARE THE BIG THINGS

However earth-shattering your big picture is (Change lives! Make a bazillion quid! Take over the world!), so often it’s the teensy-weensy things that actually make a difference, day by day.

You might be working for yourself and following your dream. But that chipped mug with the naff colours, a squeaky cupboard door or that one bastard sticky key on your keyboard can take its toll on your day-to-day sense of happiness. (Let’s be clear, I’m not suggesting you chuck out every little thing that niggles at you. Next thing you know you’ll be dropping next door’s cat in a wheelie bin. Eliminating every source of annoyance from the world is the project of an insane person, calm down.)

No, I just want you to have a think about the way things which seem small – like being met with a flood of icky spam messages every time you go on to your website dashboard – can impact your overall wellbeing. In business and life.

Take those email newsletters that everyone sends out now. Some of them are ones you’ve actually signed up for. They make you chortle, teach you something new, let you know when one of your fave peeps has got a new service up on their website.

And some of them land in your inbox ‘cos you had to hand over your email address when you bought a dragon costume for your kid nephew for Christmas. Five years ago. And now, once a month, you get DragonCostumesForKidz.Com letting you know about their latest 2-for-1 dragon costume offer.

Huh. Sigh. Not relevant. Delete.

It’s about 3 seconds of your time. But those 3 seconds are unnecessary. They distract you from your day. They make your inbox feel like a doormat you’re picking takeaway flyers off rather than a sanctuary for your brilliant biz customers to get in touch with you. And all those 3-seconds-es ADD UP to minutes. Hours, even, over the weeks and months.

TREAT YO’SELF

C’mon, sweetcheeks, you’re better than that! You’re on a MISSION and that’s to spread your message, make some moolah, keep your clients happy and ENJOY YOURSELF too.

To create a life that has you beaming with joy when you fire up your computer, not feel that sinking feeling.

You’re the CEO, the Head Honcho, the Conduit of Fabulousness exploding with sparks of inspiration and creativity. Not the tired old caretaker, clearing up the mess and dreaming of the weekend.

So if, when you log into your site, you’re buried under an avalanche of spam and upgrade alerts and half-finished drafts of pages that never get off the ground? Delete that shit, sister! Make your website something you’re proud to be working on, that’s a dream to use.

If your desk is cluttered with dead coffee mugs, pens that gave up the ghost long ago and business cards of people from long-forgotten networking events? Chuck it out! Spend a fiver on a mug that makes you feel fancy, a postcard with a rude word on and a souvenir from a place that makes you smile (Even if that’s your local pub. Beermat coaster anyone?)

Let’s make the little things around us AWESOME so that the big things come to us more easily, and we can actually get into the flow of what we’re creating.

Deal?

NEED HELP?

LOADS of my clients tell me “I know EXACTLY why the back end of my website is such a mess! It’s because I’m shit-scared to touch anything ‘cos (whisper it) I don’t really know what I’m doing. And I don’t have the tiiiiiime…..”

That’s totally freaking fine. Just because you’re physically possible of doing something as a human being, doesn’t mean you have to if the prospect’s as enticing as a turd sandwich. “Delete spam” low on your “fun stuff” list? Call in a professional.

Clearing out spam and updating plugins is totally my bag, and I’ll give your back end a scrub and a polish (WAHEY!) monthly as part of my website maintenance service. Pop your details in the contact form so we can arrange a chat to see if i can help you.

Hi I’m Jenn.

I am the love child of Marie Kondo and Caitlin Moran, if that love child was a sweary systems and process nerd.

I write about the online business world. I make it funny. Because if you’re not having fun, you may as well just get a job.

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